Unwritten - Gina Miranda 2018

I follow a script I didn't create.
A life of fear, that I hate.
Expectations that aren't mine.
But it's fine...
I got them from a trusted source,
Reinforced with familial force.
It keeps me safe and loved, right?
So why fight?
It causes fright!
Because they get mean,
When I want to be seen.
So I give in,
And become driven,
To be the best!
Which means no rest!
And I am tired!
But I'm wired,
To comply.
So I pass myself by.
I locked myself up.
And I empty my cup,
I pour into others,
The perpetual mother.
But I am tired,
I need to be rewired.
So I break apart,
Looking for a fresh start,
I begin to shake
Feeling the armor break,
And I collapse,
Emotional relapse,
And I am paralyzed with fear,
And I'm screaming to hear,
To hear my own voice,
Amidst all the noise.
So I become still,
Finding my will,
Hearing my voice,
Above all the noise.
It's fighting to speak,
It's frightening to seek,
Knowing I have a need,
Desires to feed,
Daring to take up space,
To create my own place.
I begin to scream,
As I reclaim my dream.
I clear the slate,
And reset the date,
Return to the start, 
Reconnect with my heart, 
A new beginning this time,
One that is mine,
Let go of fear and rage,
I am now a blank page,
And I will design,
A life that is all mine,
To me I will give,
Permission to live,
Permission to be,
Unconditionally me...
To be love... And be loved.

I am unwritten.